When I was younger, I would often wonder why its called keeping pretenses up. It’s fake, why would you want to keep at it? As I learnt more, I realized if you are pretending, you have to maintain it. At first from need, later out of habit. Keeping anything up is an exhausting experience, and hanging in there for something to have can tire you further. But at times to protect yourself from more harm, you need to just keep up the pretenses and hang in there. Thing will look up soon!